Traditional Nigerian Yoruba Wedding - A step by step guide

Yoruba Traditional weddings are usually the 1st wedding out of 2 or 3 weddings that Yoruba couples engage in. Some couples choose to have 3 weddings - the traditional, the white and the court wedding. Others decide to do just the traditional and the white wedding. The marriage documents are typically signed during the white wedding. Read more about how many types of Nigerian weddings there are here.

The entire traditional wedding event is coordinated by two MCees who represent the bride and groom’s families. The 'Alaga Ijoko' (literally translates to the sitting MC) who represents the bride’s family and the 'Alaga Iduro' (translated the standing MC) represents the groom's family. The two alagas are accompanied by drum players and singing. This includes the talking drum which is a staple at Yoruba events.

Prior to the engagement, both families meet at a separate event which is known as the 'introduction' aka 'Mọ mi mọ ẹ' where important decisions such as the wedding dates are set and both families officially get to know each other.

On the day of the main traditional wedding a.k.a “Engagement”, below is the flow of events:

1. “E kaabo” Welcome: This signifies the beginning of the ceremony with the arrival of the groom's family. They are required to be on time and can be sent back or fined for being late. Once inside, they are introduced by their Alaga and proceed to kneel and greet the brides family.
2. The Proposal and Acceptance: A proposal letter is presented by the groom’s family and read out loud by the youngest member of the brides family. Subsequently, an acceptance letter is given by the brides family.
3. Meeting the Groom: The groom typically makes his appearance by dancing in with his friends. He is then instructed by the alagas to prostrate two times with his friends and once alone to his new in-laws. This process of prostrating is facilitated by the alagas. During the third prostration, both families stretch out their arms and pray for the groom. He then prostrates once with his friends for his family before proceeding to his seat.
4. Meeting the Bride: The bride then dances in with her friends. She is clothed in aso-oke and gele and her face is covered with a see-through veil. Her friends typically wear dresses made from a matching fabric (aso-ebi) and dance in with her. The bride then kneels in front of her parents for their prayers and blessings, then does the same with her future husband's parents after which she is unveiled and joins her future husband. Though not compulsory, some brides wear the groom’s hat (fila) on his head, this demonstrates her acceptance of the proposal.
5. Bride Picks a Gift: On instruction from the Alaga Ijoko, the bride picks the gift she wants from the collection of beautiful gifts brought by her in-laws. The list of required gift items is given to the groom’s family during the introduction. The bride is expected to pick the Bible or Quran to which her engagement ring is attached. Some brides also pick other things like honey, which signifies that the marriage will be sweet. She gives her selection to her husband who puts the ring on her finger. The bride then shows off her ring to the world and the celebration continues.
6. Bride Price: The next section of the ceremony is the exchange of money. In ancient Yoruba culture, the belief was that the groom’s family would pay certain amounts of money to the bride’s family as a sign that they have the financial means to care for the bride and subsequently, the new family being formed. Some of the money collected is for Owo Iya Gbo (mother’s consent money), Owo Baba gbo (Father’s consent money), Owo ikanlekun (Door knocking fee) and much more. The money collection is accompanied by singing and dancing by the alagas.
7. Cutting the Cake: The next step is the cutting of the engagement cake which is known as Akara Oyinbo in the Yoruba language. The cake is a symbol of happiness due to its rich and sweet ingredients. The cake is often crafted to depict elements of Yoruba culture with shapes like a talking drum, a calabash or a cake topper of the bride and groom in their traditional Yoruba attire. During this time, the bride and her family also pose for photographs during the cake cutting. After cutting the cake, the bride’s family formally hand over their daughter to the groom’s father in the presence of everyone.
8. Final Prayers: The groom’s family come out as a group to thank their in-laws for giving out their daughter before the final prayers are said and the celebrations begin! In case you have recommendations on the best songs to play at a Nigerian/African wedding, click here to give your opinion, let's have some musical fun.